vampires

SEAL THE DEAL

This episode really receives Charlie Barker’s seal of approval.  Or maybe that form was for organ donation consent? Ha, joke’s on them.  Charlie hasn’t had any guts in years!  In any case, it’s time we looked at the dotted line where the signature goes, folks.  It’s all about official arrangements today.  Now, just sign here and we can get started.

First up, we do a little historical revision as we delve behind the scenes at what really saved mankind from nuclear disaster during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Discover the monstrous intervention behind THE ACCORD.  Next, a lunatic with a grudge checks his list so he doesn’t have to murder anyone twice. AND THEN THERE WERE MOST shows the outcome of his devious plot.  The last contract is a contract killer, but the wife who wants her husband dearly departed demands a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE.  And you thought dead was dead.

You know, the peculiar thing about this document is that it was never notarized.  Come back next time for some more paperwork.

TASTY TERRORS

If Charlie Barker had a tongue in that boney old skull of his, you can bet it would be planted firmly in cheek.  But there are better uses for tongues, ladies and gentlemen.  In a literal sense, it is a matter of taste.

On the menu for this time are a trio of tasty terrors.  First up, it’s a monstrous good time as two fantastic creatures debate the merits of human cuisine.  More precisely, humans AS cuisine.  You can bet that it TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.  Next, how do you spice up a vampire’s bloody awful diet?  Find out in DELIVERY SYSTEM.  Then, we finish it all off with dessert because THE ICE CREAM MAN IS COMING.

Once you’ve filled your gullet, it’s time for the sideshow to close.  Fear not, there will be more treats next time.  It’s just too bad old Charlie didn’t get his fill.  Yeah, he doesn’t have the guts for it.

FIENDS IN HIGH PLACES

There are always those in power over us, and usually there are those we have power over.  This means that you should always have an understanding of what it feels like to be subjugated. It ain’t much fun.  Come in and tell Char all about it.  He’s all ears.  Well, he’s all bones – but he is willing to listen nonetheless.

What the sideshow brings for us today is a look at three times that there were fiends in positions of power over their subjects.  Whether for bad or for worse, the outcome is usually dire.  In RAIDING PARTY, two brothers who thought they were miles away from anyone discover that they are the intruders.  Next, the restroom in the Japanese hibachi may be CLOSED FOR REPAIRS, but the horrifying monster within is open for business.  Last up, it’s time to RETURN TO NORLEY MANOR to settle a little unfinished business.

There is one great thing about the Circus of the Unknown.  There are no social castes or classes to overcome.  All are welcome in the sideshow.

MONSTROUS CIRCUMSTANCES

This one is all about the monsters, ladies and gentlemen.  The sideshow is filled with them.  Let Charlie Barker tell you about a trio, if you will.

The appetizer on the monstrous menu for today is a little fishy.  JENNY HANIVER is a tale about the decor for a “man cave” gone hideously wrong.  Our next meal has a little bite to it…FROST BITE, that is.  It’s about first responders who find someone, or something, frozen in the snow.  For the dessert course, it’s off to the LAIR OF THE MANDRAKE for a sweet little something.  Just where have some of the youth of the neighborhood gone off to, anyway?

We certainly understand if you can’t devour it all.  After all, it is a lot to swallow.  Just be aware that any leftovers may scurry away to come back again later.  They may just have you on the menu.