states of fear

CREATURE DISCOMFORT

The Sideshow of the Surreal has been turned into a petting zoo today, ladies and gentlemen.  There are all sorts of strange creatures in the menagerie.  Keep your fingers away from the cages.  These things bite.

First, it’s a true story from Wyoming as part of the “States of Fear” called THE SAN PEDRO MOUNTAIN MUMMY.  He (it?) is a cute little bugger, ain’t he (IT?!).  Next, it’s the tale of an abandoned warehouse that provides shelter to squatters as well as the thing that feeds on them.  Never wear the CROWN OF THE RAT KING if you can avoid it.  Thirdly, it’s a conundrum of a man who goes out of his way to please his party guests in HOW ARE YOU GOING TO TOP LAST YEAR?  Maybe he should have limited the guest list to humans.

Now, leave the cage closed and make your way out of the sideshow.  The animals need their sleep, too.  Come back next time for more creatures out of nightmare.

SO TRAGIC

What happened to old Char was tragic, wasn’t it?  Getting all burned up to a crispy skeleton.  Then, to have to work in the very sideshow that he lost his life relating tales of the surreal and supernatural for always and forever.  Hardly seems fair.  Charlie Barker ain’t one to complain, though.  Truth is, he just ain’t got the guts.

This time around, it’s three tales of tragic consequence in the sideshow.  First, it’s the story of an innocent little girl and her harpy of a mother in WHAT A LITTLE DOLL.  The second sad story is THE TRAGIC TALE OF THE WATER BABIES’ REVENGE.  This is the real-life account from our “States of Fear” sub-series.  Nevada is the locale and this one is tragic.  Thirdly, when something bad happens you can be sure IT’LL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU.  Tread lightly, my friends.

This makes it up to the halfway point.  July starts next time and it is all downhill for the rest of the year.  Join us then, won’t you?

WHOOPS!

To err is human, it is true.  We all make mistakes.  Some take their license to err a bit too far, however.  It becomes a way of life to mess things up.

Charlie Barker is no exception.  After all, he wouldn’t be a walking skeleton if he hadn’t made a few mistakes in life.  Today, he will relate three other tales from the annals of forever.  First, we head to the drive in where it is JALOPY NIGHT.  Maybe the thugs who decided to see a show should have reconsidered their entertainment options.  Secondly, it is the true life tale straight out of Connecticut.  Yes, it is another of our “States of Fear” where we hear about THE SUNKEN PIANO – a haunted instrument that plays from the depths of Gardner Lake.  The third in our chronicle of the klutz is called ORBITAL DECAY.  This is a mortuary service that promises to launch the dead into space and burn them up in the atmosphere as a shooting star.  Nope, nothing can go wrong there.

That’s about all that can go wrong this week, folks.  Join us next Tuesday as we examine more faux pas from the great beyond.  Until then, the flaps are closed.

FINAL UNRESTING PLACE

Hello again, consumers of the creepy.  It’s time once again to get in the car and see where the road takes us.  Charlie Barker is at the wheel and he is determined to take us to the “States of Fear” today.

The first place we visit is Vermont to see an old insane asylum.  It’s THE HORRIFIC HISTORY OF BRATTLEBORO RETREAT.  Haunted asylums are so nice this time of year.  Another true tale comes straight out of Portland, Oregon, on the opposite side of the USA.  This coast has the ghost with the most in THE PORTLAND SHANGHAI TUNNELS.  The last destination on the road trip of the horrific is in the midwest.  Ohio, to be exact.  We visit a little berg just fraught with fright in THE HELLTOWN HORRORS.  There are so many legends there for such a small little village.

We’ve made it through more than half way through all the states in the United States of America, ladies and gentlemen.  We still have a long way to go on our “States of Fear” road trip.  If you haven’t visited your favorite state yet, fear not.  It’s on our itinerary!  Come back again!