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FATHERLY FRIGHTS

If Bob is your uncle, who’s your old man?  Charlie Barker wants to know.  In fact, it is the main display at the sideshow today.

Fathers are the focus of the frightening fables.  First, do you enjoy playing games with your father?  How about FOR your father?  It’s a terrifying tale known as SCAVENGER HUNT.  Another dad and his sons discover the beast in the darkness in LAIR OF THE CAVE DEMON.  Lastly, there are BIGGER FISH TO FRY when a son is the only person who knows about a monster in his apartment furnace room.

Until next time, the sideshow is closed.  If you want a treat before then, go ask your father for it.

CHILDISH THINGS

What is more natural than to see children at the circus, ladies and gentlemen.  The sideshow, perhaps not as commonplace.  Unless, of course, they are the attraction and not the patrons.

That is the case today.  Three stories involving childish things are at hand.  First, we are off to THE OLD TIRE SWING where it is said to be haunted.  How childish is that?  Second, we find out what ghoulish things are afoot when it is a BUYER’S MARKET.  Finally, where are all the parents at the PIÑATA PARTY?  Best not to ask.  You don’t want to know.

More cotton candy, hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts, and perhaps an ice cream cone?  The circus is filled with delicious treats.  One would think it was catering to the kid.  At least the kid in all of us.  Come back again next time and get your fill.

WHOOPS!

To err is human, it is true.  We all make mistakes.  Some take their license to err a bit too far, however.  It becomes a way of life to mess things up.

Charlie Barker is no exception.  After all, he wouldn’t be a walking skeleton if he hadn’t made a few mistakes in life.  Today, he will relate three other tales from the annals of forever.  First, we head to the drive in where it is JALOPY NIGHT.  Maybe the thugs who decided to see a show should have reconsidered their entertainment options.  Secondly, it is the true life tale straight out of Connecticut.  Yes, it is another of our “States of Fear” where we hear about THE SUNKEN PIANO – a haunted instrument that plays from the depths of Gardner Lake.  The third in our chronicle of the klutz is called ORBITAL DECAY.  This is a mortuary service that promises to launch the dead into space and burn them up in the atmosphere as a shooting star.  Nope, nothing can go wrong there.

That’s about all that can go wrong this week, folks.  Join us next Tuesday as we examine more faux pas from the great beyond.  Until then, the flaps are closed.

WEDDED BLISS(TER)

If you’re following the formula, first comes love, next comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage.  Today, with spring in full bloom, we will address the middle criterion in that list.

Marriage.  Marriage is what brings us together.  First off, what happens when a penny-pinching tightwad tries to combine a funeral and a wedding?  Find out in DUAL PURPOSE.  Next, a tale that may very well fly in the face of the adage “looking a gift horse in the mouth”.  Be sure you know what you’re getting yourself into when we examine a PIG IN A POKE.  Our third macabre matrimony is the WEDDING GIFT.  Some things you just can’t return.

What’s better than a nice June wedding?  As long as it is not followed by a July funeral, you should be fine.  We’ll see you next time with or without the better half.