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PAR FOR THE CORPSE

Last week, Charlie talked about graves and grave matters.  This is all fine and good, but there is a prerequisite to being buried in the final resting place.  You have to be dead. This episode is all about those cadaverous corpses.  Charlie puts the toe tag on three tales in the morgue of the macabre.

The first corpse on the slab is about a real life dumping ground for murder victims.  It’s THE UNMARKED GRAVEYARD.  Just hope you aren’t interned there.  Next, a philanthropist BENEFACTOR has bequeathed his fortune to charity after his death.  But what if there isn’t any body to take care of it.  Then, it’s off to military training where real corpses are used to test ballistic impacts on people.  The ghoulish aftermath is JUST LIKE IN THE MOVIES.

Aspiration is a wonderful trait, but it can lead to disappointment.  Fear not, though.  The one stage we can all reach is death.  It’s the only race that we want to come in last, though.

ALL FALL DOWN

Leaves are falling all around, It’s time I was on my way. Thanks to you I’m much obliged for such a pleasant stay. But now it’s time for me to go; the autumn moon lights my way. For now I smell the rain and with it pain and it’s headed my way.  Charlie Barker talks about the winds of change today.  The seasonal shift to autumn and tales uniquely suited to that period.

The first fall tale is about a crazed hermit in the deep forest known as BACKWOODS LARRY.  The tales of cannibalism and horror can’t be all true, can they?  Next, beware when the moon is high and the MARCH WINDS blow.  There is evil in the air.  Finally, you really need to worry WHEN THE LEAVES FALL because of what that heralds.  It can’t be good.

All signs point to the death of summer and the lingering cold of autumn.  Winter can’t be too far off, but for now there is time to run.  It’s time to ramble on, my friends.  Make haste back to your modest hovels until the circus provides a temporary reprieve from the cold, biting winds.

GRAVE MATTERS

The Circus of the Unknown is open yet again.  Charlie Barker is manning the Sideshow of the Surreal.  Come in, he has some real estate deals to discuss with you. Char guarantees that this is the last real estate you will ever need.  Your final resting place.  A plot of land, or perhaps an urn, for you to rest eternal.  This episode is all about graves.

The first place of rest is one of the “States of Fear” sub-series.  It’s off to Brazil, Indiana, where we visit THE 100 STEP CEMETERY.  Just be careful how you step or it could result in tragedy. Next, we head over to the Fitzgerald family crypt as we go WALKING OVER YOUR GRAVE.  Lastly, what is he digging out there?  Could it be?  Just keep an eye on THE MAN IN THE STOVEPIPE HAT.

Now, if you’re ready, just sign on the dotted line because this deal is too good to last.  This cemetery is very popular, so you had better hurry.  In fact, it is so popular that people are dying to get in here.

WEATHER OR NOT IT HAPPENS

Neither snow nor rain nor gloom of night will keep the Circus of the Unknown from opening, ladies and gentlemen.  And if the circus is open, you can bet the Sideshow of the Surreal will also be in full swing.  Weather be damned.

Coincidentally, that is just what old Char wants to talk about today.  Tales involving strange and unusual weather.  First, you ever heard of Strasburg?  No?  That’s okay, not many have.  Not since the night the fog came and everything got SWALLOWED UP.  What’s that?  Did you hear it?  I think it was Auntie Em warning us about something.  Probably nothing to worry about.  We have to finish the errands and pick up our pictures at THE PHOTO HUT.  Then, it’s under cover of the AUTUMN RAINS.  Nocturnal creatures get a rare chance to hunt during daylight hours when masked by thunderclouds.

Ahh, the sun is coming out again.  The clouds are dissipating and things look much brighter.  Blast it all.  Come back next time and maybe we can find a few clouds in those silver linings.