CreepyGram and the Mourning Show


If Charlie Barker had a tongue in that boney old skull of his, you can bet it would be planted firmly in cheek.  But there are better uses for tongues, ladies and gentlemen.  In a literal sense, it is a matter of taste.

On the menu for this time are a trio of tasty terrors.  First up, it’s a monstrous good time as two fantastic creatures debate the merits of human cuisine.  More precisely, humans AS cuisine.  You can bet that it TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.  Next, how do you spice up a vampire’s bloody awful diet?  Find out in DELIVERY SYSTEM.  Then, we finish it all off with dessert because THE ICE CREAM MAN IS COMING.

Once you’ve filled your gullet, it’s time for the sideshow to close.  Fear not, there will be more treats next time.  It’s just too bad old Charlie didn’t get his fill.  Yeah, he doesn’t have the guts for it.


Charlie Barker takes you through a regression of sorts in the sideshow today.  Well, at the very least, a nostalgic look at the toddler years.  There are nursery rhymes to be told, come in, come in!

You know that rhyme about the worms devouring your corpse after death?  Ahh, what child doesn’t hear that poem and smile.  Well, it has a couple more stanzas that help keep you out of harm’s way in the cemetery.  Listen to HOLD YOUR BREATH and follow along.  Second, it’s the tale of a doll with a special tune to help you head off to dreamland.  It’s THE SLEEPYTIME SONG.  Then, it’s a classic nursery rhyme that had its time.  But now, it’s time to resurrect that old diddy in ONE IS FOR SORROW.

It’s nice to feel like a kid again, ain’t it?  Next week we grow up a bit and strap on the ole feedback for some more tasty treats.  Come back and Charlie Barker will give you something to chew on.


If Charlie Barker could grow hair on that skeletal face of his, he may just don a wonderful beard.  As for now, he just has beard envy.  He has to live vicariously through his trio of totally true tales of terror today.

The first tale is the yardstick by which all other beards are measured.  However, the man with THE LONGEST BEARD IN THE WORLD will soon discover the price of fame.  Then, it’s off to a tropical island paradise where the locals have a legend that should not be taken lightly.  It’s the horrific tale of THE SPIDER BEARD MAN.  The next beard is an impostor!  A soon-to-be bride infiltrates her future husband’s bachelor party wearing a fake beard and gets much more than she bargained for in INCOGNITO.

Phew, that was a close shave!  Hopefully, next time won’t be so hairy.  Until then, the circus is closed.


Charlie Barker leads us out of the pull of gravity today.  To the far reaches of space, and then some.  It’s sci-fi only scarier.  It’s the Starship Sideshow!

First, what happens in the future with the prison system?  I don’t know, but perhaps we will be BUSTIN’ OUT.  The tomorrow terrors continue with a story of a doomed space voyage with a formidable furry foe in THE CAT’S AWAY.  Then, it’s off to DISTANT PLUTONIAN SHORES with a witch who had turned in her broomstick for something with a little more intergalactic appeal.

About now is time to get your head out of the stars.  It’s been fun, but we need to head back to earth for a while.  There are plenty of tales down on terra firma awaiting the Sideshow of the Surreal.  Charlie Barker will make a course correction and meet you there next time.