CreepyGram and the Mourning Show

TECHNOBABBLE

Some say that the difference between man and animals is the ability to use tools.  That has been debunked, however, as many different types of creatures can adapt simple tools to suit their needs.  Perhaps, then, another differentiation would be technology.  Charlie puts that theory to the test in the sideshow today.

It’s all about the electronic gizmos that are touted to make life easier.  Sometimes, they may death more simple, too.  Take, for example, the strange case of THE SIMULATED REVOLUTION.  Do all those ones and zeroes equate to flesh and blood?  Secondly, it’s time to play THE TELEPHONE GAME.  When modern convention marries ancient sorcery, you know it’s a match made in Hell.  Lastly, it’s an unintentional homage to the late, great David Bowie in TURN AND FACE THE STRANGE.  Collateral damage with scientific experiments never sounded so good.

Usually, the tech is low at the sideshow.  Turn in next time as we trade in our circuits, capacitors, and resistors for mayhem of a different kind.

 

SEAL THE DEAL

This episode really receives Charlie Barker’s seal of approval.  Or maybe that form was for organ donation consent? Ha, joke’s on them.  Charlie hasn’t had any guts in years!  In any case, it’s time we looked at the dotted line where the signature goes, folks.  It’s all about official arrangements today.  Now, just sign here and we can get started.

First up, we do a little historical revision as we delve behind the scenes at what really saved mankind from nuclear disaster during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Discover the monstrous intervention behind THE ACCORD.  Next, a lunatic with a grudge checks his list so he doesn’t have to murder anyone twice. AND THEN THERE WERE MOST shows the outcome of his devious plot.  The last contract is a contract killer, but the wife who wants her husband dearly departed demands a MONEY BACK GUARANTEE.  And you thought dead was dead.

You know, the peculiar thing about this document is that it was never notarized.  Come back next time for some more paperwork.

SILVER SCREAM

Make-up!  You’re going to need a lot of foundation for this one.  At least he has good bone structure.  Trouble is, he is nothing but bone structure.  There. Finally, I think he is presentable.  Charlie Barker is ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille.

This week, we switch from the canvas tent to the silver screen as we head to the movies.  The art of moviemaking, to be more precise.  First, it’s behind the scenes during the filming of a remake of Casablanca – this time with Aliens instead of Nazis!  Is nothing sacred?!  Find out in QUIET ON THE SET.  Next, it’s the tale of a famous actor who dabbled in murder in UNDERSTUDY.  Last one on our bill this time is about a movie called THE MOON IN RETREAT.  This one is about a demonic ritual performed as part of a movie that was just a bit too real.

As for now, well, it looks like ole Char has had enough.  Being the diva he is, he is going to his trailer and does not want to be disturbed.  At least not until next time, that is.

MUSIC HATH CHARMS

Being a carny, Charlie Barker has an affinity for the calliope.  Yet, he can still appreciate different forms of musical expression.  Today, there are three tunes he would like to share.

The first little number is about a single mother and her young daughter who rely on a LULLABY to keep the monsters away.  Let’s hope it works.  Next, it’s the tale of THE TELL-TALE JUKEBOX.  It’s the same old song and dance about a murderous bartender haunted by the ghost of his victim – well the ghost’s favorite song on the jukebox, anyway.  The last composition is called THE YOUNG SNAKE-HANDLER about a girl who charms the slithery beasts through music.

That’s all you get.  Three tunes.  If you want more, you’ll have to come back again next time.