Ghost Writer

SILVER SCREAM

Make-up!  You’re going to need a lot of foundation for this one.  At least he has good bone structure.  Trouble is, he is nothing but bone structure.  There. Finally, I think he is presentable.  Charlie Barker is ready for his close-up, Mr. DeMille.

This week, we switch from the canvas tent to the silver screen as we head to the movies.  The art of moviemaking, to be more precise.  First, it’s behind the scenes during the filming of a remake of Casablanca – this time with Aliens instead of Nazis!  Is nothing sacred?!  Find out in QUIET ON THE SET.  Next, it’s the tale of a famous actor who dabbled in murder in UNDERSTUDY.  Last one on our bill this time is about a movie called THE MOON IN RETREAT.  This one is about a demonic ritual performed as part of a movie that was just a bit too real.

As for now, well, it looks like ole Char has had enough.  Being the diva he is, he is going to his trailer and does not want to be disturbed.  At least not until next time, that is.

MUSIC HATH CHARMS

Being a carny, Charlie Barker has an affinity for the calliope.  Yet, he can still appreciate different forms of musical expression.  Today, there are three tunes he would like to share.

The first little number is about a single mother and her young daughter who rely on a LULLABY to keep the monsters away.  Let’s hope it works.  Next, it’s the tale of THE TELL-TALE JUKEBOX.  It’s the same old song and dance about a murderous bartender haunted by the ghost of his victim – well the ghost’s favorite song on the jukebox, anyway.  The last composition is called THE YOUNG SNAKE-HANDLER about a girl who charms the slithery beasts through music.

That’s all you get.  Three tunes.  If you want more, you’ll have to come back again next time.

FOR THE BIRDS

This episode is fowl.  It is all about the feathered fiends who frolic in the unfriendly skies.  You guessed it.  This one is for the birds.

Charlie has an avian anthology in store for you.  First up, we find ourselves between a ROC AND A HARD PLACE.  Next, you never know what those crafty cockatiels will pick up in DUBIOUS MIMICRY.  Lastly, it’s a feather or a fabulous fowl that leads to fearsome folly in BUT SHE MEANT WELL.

Now, it’s time to take flight.  At least until you can roost again in the Circus of the Unknown.

TASTY TERRORS

If Charlie Barker had a tongue in that boney old skull of his, you can bet it would be planted firmly in cheek.  But there are better uses for tongues, ladies and gentlemen.  In a literal sense, it is a matter of taste.

On the menu for this time are a trio of tasty terrors.  First up, it’s a monstrous good time as two fantastic creatures debate the merits of human cuisine.  More precisely, humans AS cuisine.  You can bet that it TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.  Next, how do you spice up a vampire’s bloody awful diet?  Find out in DELIVERY SYSTEM.  Then, we finish it all off with dessert because THE ICE CREAM MAN IS COMING.

Once you’ve filled your gullet, it’s time for the sideshow to close.  Fear not, there will be more treats next time.  It’s just too bad old Charlie didn’t get his fill.  Yeah, he doesn’t have the guts for it.