Ghost Writer

CREEPYPASTA WITH EXTRA CHEESE

This week, Charlie Barker takes the debatable position that CreepyPasta is a relatively new literary form.  Charlie examines three tales in the style of CreepyPasta legends that were plucked right out of the realm of the unknown.  They are, of course, absolutely true – at least in one of the infinite alternate realities.

How do you address a haunted colonial stockade that cannot be destroyed?  Why, you ship it off to the west coast and wish them all the best in BITTER PILLORY TO SWALLOW.  Next, it is a terrifying figure of a different sort.  One hand drawn on concrete.  Too bad the CHALKMAN didn’t stay on the sidewalk where he belonged.  Then, it is the legend of a woman who tragically lost her life (and a little more above the neck) in THE FLOATING HEAD OF LUCY TASH.

Thanks again for your support of the surreal and supernatural.  Your face is always welcome in this establishment.  Your face and any other body parts you wish to contribute.

CRIME AND PUNISHMENT

Society has placed parameters in which citizens may operate freely.  When deviation occurs outside of those guardrails, the offender needs to be corrected, contained, or executed if, that is, they are caught.  Charlie Barker examines this aspect of the human condition in his Sideshow of the Surreal today.

First, a hopeful gang pledge has one last obstacle before he can call himself a member.  It’s time for his INITIATION.  Next, it’s a horrendous case of mistaken identity in EL TEMIDO.  Finally, every prison has to have a place to exercise in an effort to keep the inmates complacent.  However, sometimes THE YARD becomes just another war zone.

Come again next time the flaps open.  You don’t want to leave ole Char without an audience, now, would you? That would be downright criminal.

IT’S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT

All good things must come to an end, ladies and gentlemen.  CreepyGram and the Mourning Show examines this eventuality in a trio of totally true tales today.  Stories that show how the civilization of man crumbles like a sandcastle at high tide.  As they say, life’s a beach.

There are many ways the world may end.  First on that list is the porcine apocalypse.  Yes, it’s all reflected IN A PIG’S EYE.  Zombies have long been the culprit on the way things go down.  But what if it isn’t just the rising undead but an unhealthy dependence on technology that contributes to the end of times?  Find out how that looks in OPERATION RAZOR WIRE.  Thirdly, another implausible force of finality.  Light and fluffy FOAM takes over.  No, it ain’t those scrubbing bubbles.  This is something worse.

Charlie Barker will return next time.  Assuming, of course, that the world doesn’t end before then.  If it doesn’t, please come back to the Circus of the Unknown.

IN THE GOOD OLE SUMMERTIME

The days are long and the nights are short.  What a perfect time of the year to attend the circus.  Even the sideshow provides a brief reprieve from the blaring sun.

The summer also offers tales fit for the sunny season.  Three of them are on display for you now.  First, a hazard that occurs naturally due to the heat and lack of adequate precipitation to produce a SUMMER WILDFIRE. Don’t get burnt! Next, it also sounds like a naturally occurring phenomenon, but actually it’s the name of a roller coaster called THE HURRICANE.  Those things are scary for a reason.  Finally, it’s a little summertime kids game to be played at night.  It’s FLASHLIGHT TAG and you’re it!

It’s going to get hotter before it cools down any, friends.  Just take solace in the fact that the circus won’t be pulling up stakes anytime soon.  Seen you in the sideshow again, soon.